It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of reality shows, and so naturally I was excited to watch the premiere of The New Celebrity Apprentice, featuring host Arnold Schwarzenegger, since previous host Donald Trump may have some briefings to attend.
This year’s contestants include talk show host Carrie Keegan and Wilson-Phillips singer Carnie Wilson, both of whom have already been “terminated.” That’s right. The governator wasn’t about to use Trump’s “you’re fired” catch phrase, so he came up with his own: “You’re terminated. Hasta, la vista, baby.” I think I speak for all 19 people who watched the premiere when I say that the catch phrase part was embarrassing to watch. Arnold doesn’t come across as someone who has a great business wit, and having Tyra Banks as your right-hand adviser doesn’t exactly lend a ton of credibility.
Comedian Jon Lovitz is on the show, and he’s pretty funny, which balances out the dryness of Brooke Burke-Charvet (the pretty one), Matt Iseman (the pretty boring one) and Chael Sonnen (who?). Athletes Laila Ali, Lisa Leslie, Eric Dickerson and Ricky Williams prove they’re more intelligent than we thought, as does Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards, who actually throws out some good ideas and makes up for the idiocy that is Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Williams.
The cast is rounded out by the fabulous Carson Kressley, pop star Boy George, Jersey Shore native Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and rock star Vince Neil.
So the premise of the show, since I’m pretty sure I’m the only one in Madison County who’s been watching, is that the stars are split into teams – it’s now boys vs. girls but that will change as the girls continue to be eliminated – and they complete tasks to win cash for the charity of their choice.
Each week the losing team’s project manager is called into the boardroom with two team members of his or her choice, and one of the three is terminated.
The show used to be interesting, back in the day when Omarosa and Bill Rancic fought for the right to a pile of cash and the opportunity to work for Donald Trump. These celebrities, however, exhibit diva behavior and clearly aren’t used to having to make their own decisions or compromise with their fellow divas.
The show is tired, and Arnold is actually making it worse. It’s time for the whole show to be terminated. Hasta la vista, baby.
April Towery is the editor of The Meteor. She can be reached at (936) 348-3505 or firstname.lastname@example.org.